The Last Dance (Continued 2)

How well was he displaying an indifferent passion for the melody—– “Me Voy …….”. Peeling the flesh off me. I hated it, but I had to bear it—– circumventing somehow. He was not the only one, there were even worst, Jhon…who would always wish and try to be Extra Close, in Rumba, while exploring me in the garb of placing his hand on my shoulder blades….an extra effort to brush across my breasts and so on….I would give an impassive look, rather would correct him, which he would forget very soon. How determined was he!
I was to be blamed …..
Why did I take up this job and not something else…
“Yes why did not I take some other job?” I would inquire from myself in anguish. There certainly existed an explanation. Which, I dreaded to whisper—-even to myself.
This world is infested with innumerous and expansively relentless men, who would always know one reason to be closer to a woman and then many, to be in her pants…Crue….  Just one, at times none, to evade.
”Slow….Quick…Quick….Slow……….” Same stench, grin, Gold capped teeth, a greedy look and exploring fingers….. all responded by a professionally embroidered smile smeared with prepetual ignorance.
“So now we go to side step, open break and under arm turn…. …OK ….. Mr. Hemming?” …I tried to disengage. That’s what I would always do.
“What are you doing tonight?” he insisted, exhibiting his Rolex with etched diamonds. If I could only slap on his face and run away……What is my fault, if I am a woman…which too was not my choice….what if my mother and father were not gracious enough to raise me to be a doctor….…..I pleaded in unwavering mute silence. As usual…….no reply….no help…..no Jesus……no Moses…..no Mohammad………no savior……and I was all alone to face raping stares of Hemming, how much did I hate him, those stares and grins……
“I have to take another class and then some personal practices. You know how important are these to remain in touch with the job requirements.” I said with a charming smile. How much did I hate myself for that–Smile.
He resigned. I knew momentarily only. It was a routine. If not Hemming there were many like him. Damn!!! Where are the Gentlemen? I wondered in amazement.
Normally, it would not be a concern, perhaps a mistake by a more serious student ….. but the grin which followed, always made me sick. Instead, “No, you have to stop here…give a little break…it is not Quick Quick……but Slow …….OK? We will try it again….are we good…..did you understand…..?” would be my response.
“3 minute to go Marina…” I heard Julia in the ear piece.
Mevoy …….had fallen on deaf ears…..after all.
I disengaged from Hemmings, smiling in an exquisite manner, a job requirement, and told him that our session was over, to his utter dismay. We underwent a final formality for two minutes which meant a century to me. I could feel his stares piercing through my cleavage.
Where were my social rights, it enraged me.
“So can you come over for group, day after tomorrow ?”
“Ohh….yes, I will be here” a pause “For you” a broad smile. I lead him out.
“How is he…?????? The Romeo!!!” a laughter. “Seems to be interested in you…” said Julia smiling. A failed consolatory effort.
“Yes, his interest is for 2 minutes, I know, Wham Bham Thank You Ma’m.” I mimicked a smile. Over the years I had learnt to be a good actor suppressing my inner feelings. Persistent denial of My Emotions their right, ‘to be expressed’, had made me intrinsically eccentric. It was excruciating and pulverizing. I was my worst tormenter.
It happens in a snap, something shatters inside you and then— the pain follows. It increases gradually, draining your energies. Your eyes are locked in a frozen stare. I wondered, where did that girl of 10 years had smoldered, who dreamt of a dreamland with a prince charming— as every girl does. Naive of what future beholds for her. At least, dreaming is righteous. It is a relief, people don’t have jurisdiction over your dreams, else they would snatch them and government would declare it taxable.
“Hi…..i am ready….” said  Jean.
I exactly knew, another session of excruciating molestation was about to commence— I took it happily. I did it daily…with so many jeans and Hemmeings. What was new? ….. there is no dearth of them in this world….
“What did I do, not to deserve any of your disoriented Ray of Mercy? …..” Not an opportune time to get into same scuffle again, it was time to go…….
May be God forgot me after the creation, striking me off the inventory. Or perhaps, he created me to be a source of joy for his actual creations, whom He Loved and cherished.
“Love—What is it?.What is the touch of love? How does it feel to look deep, then deeper, into the eyes of your lover and drift away? Does it really exist?… or…. is it just confined to stories or movies? Do girls fake it….do they really get it….is it real????”. So many questions engulfed me and I shrugged them all, implying, ‘Out of Jurisdiction’.
“Start with your left foot…..Waltz is known as the Father of all Dances…feel the beat…..yes that’s the way…..Now …..Rise……and Fall, change the weight…..turn your head towards left over my shoulder…yes”
Huh, he was not at all concerned with “The Father of Dances” but the woman in his proximity-undressing her in his thoughts. Worst—he did not even make an effort to hide the bulge in his pants.  “Side….Hesitation… and 1——2,3”. He banged in me. I could see the satisfaction spread across his face…
I hated him “You have to make controlled moves Mr.Jean” I said, disengaging. It was reciprocated by a broader smile. An announcement of his success.
At last the day was over. There would be another.  Nothing was to be happy about. I loved dancing and more than that, I had loved him, which had forced me to dance. And I danced thereafter. In tender age , I vowed to dance for him …. all my life. It proved to be intoxicating —- An abyss which consumed me deeper and deeper. Overwhelming was so immense and intense that i knew nothing else—-even him. I forgave him.
Dancing was my love—Now. Everlasting love of life. And how haunting was this life….…
I had forgotten if I ever existed!!! I was just a tiny little wheel in the mechanism of God, To run this World of His. A constant,  “X”, no feelings, no emotions and no wishes.
“Hey Marina….call for you.” Julia shouted in a whisper. “Someone inquiring about dance classes”. I woke up from my disgusting thoughts……disgusting for the world —– Not me.
I left the assessment board and paced like a robot to Julia.
“What did you say?”
“Someone is inquiring about our dance classes….perhaps a foreigner!”.
I walked up, to the telephone ….
I always hated to take foreigners in the school. Two definite reasons….one, they had money…lot of it……and second, they thought that everything was on the menu…which was not only to be seen but was to be taken as well. They were always admitted. They were the main source of our income. I did not have any choice!!!!!!!!!
“Hi……”  I said with a mocked joy, part of my job. Portray, always portray…..make others feel important. That is what business is all about. Hypocrite!!!….. what am I doing here…..…who am I ……….may be, this is a dream and one day while doing one Quick..Quick I would stumble and wake up to find  a different world. Six years…I had stumbled many a times…..but there was no awakening. Me and my customers, various types and creeds. Those….who really wished to learn dancing, generally from 15-25 years old and were assigned to Catherine, my associate, who was young and charming. Then those, who perhaps were not having good times at home, 35-50 years of age and those who just wished to have a fun time, 25-35. Last two categories were taken on by me. Stubborn and rigid—Me. I was never a beauty. In school, I would always go unnoticed. It killed me. My best friend Marry would receive multiple successive approved glances, where as for me, there was not even a disapproved one. Yes…Tommy always stared at me. Those eyes, beholding an eternal lust, within. And I chose to remain eternally invisible. Something which my dad could ever give me in life was, light brown serene eyes …… shinning skin…..a mesmerizing smile and a chiseled face, not to mention body— Mommy said so. Rest, I always wondered ‘What a father is’.
“Hey Marina……” and I rushed, responding to the urgency of Julia…..
“Emmm….Ahhh….…Good evening Ma’m” A resonant, heavy and hesitant voice struck my ear drums…..and threw me off guard, stoned.
Could never forget, ‘emmm……errrrr…..ahhhhh’, from my school life.
I stiffened…..its always like this…… if you are not nice, just sound nice….!!!
I bitterly smiled to myself.
“In fact, ….” Hesitant, indecisive and uncommitted.
Oh…he is good at making it up, I smiled sarcastically “Not This time.” Years had taught me to enjoy even the worst….even the day on which I was raped……
“In fact I needed to take dance classes….dont know what to do” a silence followed….
“You have dialed the right number Mr……..” anticipating a name…….I paused.
“Ahhh….Ummmm…infact…..”
why does he say ‘In fact’ so much…. What is he?
My mind was working very fast……making…assessing and rejecting options in micros…….a potential customer, handsome amount of money…I could not let it go.
“How can we help you…” I tried to make the environment more congenial trying to generate some conversation.
“In fact……ummmm…ehhhhn…..i ammm, ….. I……. wish to learn dancing…..” a confused voice in the earpiece.
“So…. what are you interested in, Sir?” I asked in a flat voice…concluding that he was not a potential customer….
“Ummmm…..….in fact…eehhhh…just dancing and….. I don’t know……actually!!!” The answer was followed by a sheepishly suppressed chuckle….
“No problem sir….we are here to make you rock. You have to believe in us….The Institution……”.
“Ummm….ehhhh…..what….ehhhh…. What do I have to do, in fact?.” The man asked and I wondered if he had no social manners….to say ma’m, lady, please…. Bla bla bla.
“Sir, I would suggest that you visit us and we will arrange a lesson for you to show various dances and…….”.
“How much ……emmmmm…..would it cost” he interrupted.
“Hey he is not coming, he is just funkying…..” I told Julia shielding the mouth piece. She smiled.
“Sir why don’t you just drop by our school and we would show you that how well can we try to make you a dancer….” I said as a last desperate attempt to make him, at least, a potential customer.
“Ummm….ahhhh….Yes I would love to do it….” He said intermittently….
I would love to……. I laughed to myself…that’s the sentence I listened so many times a day…..
“So tomorrow 1800 hrs, will that be OK with you sir?” I said in a polite and lucrative tone….
“Ummm…in fact…ehhh……if you could make it on Wednesday…it will be convenient for me”. I felt stupid, Why the hell did not I ask for his schedule? I cursed myself.
“Sir….will 1800 hrs be OK with you…on Wednesday?”
“Ummm..infact…yes…..if someone could remind me please!!!”
I took my notes, and said “No problems sir. Its policy of our school to tinkle.” I had made it a routine to carry out a personality assessment independent of Jung and Freud. It required taking of notes to decide upon who would be the instructor and how will the customer be dealt. I marked him ‘M’. He seemed to be a problem. I could not leave Catherine to his mercy.
“Ummmm…….….If you…. Could…. please add..…..ummmm…..in front of my name that I was quite ehhhhhh……… a shy person…may be it would help you to come up with something specific to me!!!” he hurried up at the end.
“Oh…really!!!” I was amazed momentarily.
“Don’t worry Mr…………” I tried another time.
“Whats your name…” he demanded, curtly.
I was taken aback on his directness. “Marina” I replied. “OK Marina…see you on Wednesday, Bye…… ehhhh….actually yes I am….”
“Nicholas. Without….Cage.” a laughter.
“Beniti…Nicholas Beniti!!!”
And The Phone went dead.
—————————————-TO BE CONTINUED —————————————-